You a question,
but I’ll shave it for later!
OK we realized that our last post was not much of the introduction we had intended, instead it snowballed into passionate promotion of fake mustaches (sorry). So we thought we’d try again.
This is a short story I (Rosalie) wrote, inspired by our…um…unique childhood.
Note: If you want to be us, this is what you have to do (don’t do it)
(Inspired by real people and a real story.)
Colleen and Lily were not bad kids. They always had good intentions. They just, messed up a lot. Once when they were five they flooded the kitchen, on accident of course. They had touched some mushrooms and were told to go wash their hands. They remembered to use soap, but what they forgot was to turn off the faucet. Everywhere Lily and Colleen went they left a mark, literally and the older they got, the bigger the messes.
This time their mess was particularly large. But before you hear their story you should know a little about Colleen and Lily. First is that Colleen and Lily are best friends and it is quite rare to see one without the other. Second, Colleen is the most outrageous person I have ever met. She has extremely pale skin and bright carrot orange hair. You may call it red but she will correct you every time. It’s orange. Third, Lily is the world’s biggest drama queen. Now back to the story.
It all started when Colleen’s sister, Maura, felt sick. Lily and Colleen wanted to make her feel better by getting her some of her favorite things. So they made a list of four items, none of which could be found at home. Although they tore the whole house apart looking. Their fist item was Maura’s favorite book called “Every Girl is a Princess.” They set out for the library.
After looking for fifteen minuets with no luck they started pulling all the books of the shelves to make sure it was not stuck behind. Of Course it was. Before they found in right where it was supposed to be almost all of the books in the children’s section were on the floor. But they did not notice they just hurried off to get the next thing on their list, which just happened to be a puppy. Maura loved dogs and Colleen and Lily figured they would bring her one. Conveniently their neighbor was a snake and dog breeder. So they hurried off.
When Colleen and Lily arrived at the neighbors house they were so excited about getting a puppy that they did not watch where they were going. Lily walked right into the snake cage and all of the snakes were dumped onto the floor. Unfortunately the dogs were not the only ones with new babies. Baby snakes littered the floor. Each one was like a black worm, wriggling but not getting anywhere. Colleen was so frightened that she grabbed the nearest puppy and Lily’s arm and hightailed it out of there. They had not brought a leash or a collar for their new puppy, which they named hank. So Colleen pulled both of the shoelaces out of her shoes and tied one to make a collar and the other as a leash. She made Lily do the same because one shoe lace is not long enough to make a leash. Next they thought they would get Maura a bouquet of flowers. You always brought sick people flowers said Colleen and Mrs. Narssisa. Their neighbor, had to many flowers anyway. So Lily and Colleen began to pick Maura a bouquet from Mrs. Narssisa’s garden. Although Lily and Colleen were best friends they still argued some and that is exactly what they did while picking the flowers. Colleen wanted an all yellow bouquet and Lily wanted an all pink bouquet. Because they were arguing so much they didn’t realize that they had accidentally picked all the pink and yellow flowers in Mrs. Narssisa’s garden. Colleen said it looked lopsided now because there were only purple and blue flowers left. So in an attempt to put it right they picked all the blue and purple flowers too. “Now it doesn’t look lopsided anymore” said Lily and off they went.
The last item on their list was ice cream. Colleen and Lily upon arriving at the Candy Box remembered that dogs weren’t supposed to be in stores, but because it was empty they brought Hank in. Since no one was there to help them they grabbed the biggest ice cream cone they could find and started up the machine. Neither of them knew how to work they just pushed the big green button hoping ice cream would come out. It did. Twice as fast as it was supposed to. They filled up their cone and tried to stop the machine but they did not know how. While they were trying to stop the machine Hank got loose and started eating the ice cream that was spilling everywhere. When she realized this Lily got really worried because she new dogs shouldn’t have chocolate and so she told Colleen to stop the ice cream from getting on the floor. So Colleen grabbed cones and bowls anything she could to to contain the ice cream. She even used Lily’s hat. Ice cream got all over every thing. The machine eventually ran out of ice cream, but not before it had made a huge mess. Colleen and Lily just poured the chocolate sauce on, sprinkled on the sprinkles on their cone and left, leaving a trail of melted ice cream. “I’m so glad we didn’t get caught” said Colleen. “We would have been in so much trouble for bringing a dog into the store!”
Colleen and Lily went back to Colleen’s house to give Maura her stuff. But before they could Colleen’s mom entered the room. She looked from the puppy to the dirt covered flowers to the melted to ice cream to Lily and Colleen and said “not again!” As Colleen and Lily were not aware they had done anything wrong they told Colleen mom everything without hesitation. When Colleen and Lily finished their tale they were told that what they had done was wrong even though they had had good intentions. They had to help clean up the library and the Candy Box, return the puppy, and apologize to Mrs. Narssisa. Once they realized what they had done Lily and Colleen were sorry and promised never to do anything like that ever again. However when they went to help clean up… well that’s a different story.
We hope you have enjoyed this abridged production of our childhood.
*Rosalie and Lily*